Twenty First Century Marriage Counseling

Yesterday, I was in the electronics section of Target. I walked around an aisle and on the end cap, I saw these. You may have seen them on TV. They’re a pair of headphones that are specifically designed for people who need to watch late night television, BADLY. Personally, I’d much rather go into the other room, turn on the tv, sit down, and not worry about waking up my partner next to me, but maybe that isn’t an option, ever. If it’s not, then this is a thoughtful solution. P.S. So is going to sleep.

Before I was able to get around the aisle, something had caught my attention about the packaging. “Did that just read as I thought it did?” I wondered.  I picked up the package. “MyZone saved our relationship!”

Wait, what? Is that how this is being marketed to sell? A pair of headphones saved one relationship, so they have the ability to save mine? And it’s being punctuated with an exclamation point? The audacity! As soon as I read the quote, I laughed out loud. That’s just a little too ridiculous. Imagine a relationship that is painfully tethered by one’s compromising ability to drop twenty dollars to watch tv after dark. Here’s some advice: Save that twenty dollars and put it towards some marriage counseling. Headphones won’t give you the ability to communicate, listen, be selfless, caring, thoughtful, or compassionate to your partner. They’ll just delay the inevitable.

If your marriage is down to its last twenty dollars, then a pair of headphones is the least of your concerns. There are attorney fees, custody issues, and a whole range of things to work out. I promise that nothing on TV is that important. Try reading a book…about a healthy marriage.

To some degree, the ridiculousness worked. I’m the sucker who decided to blog about it. However, for the sake of humanity, please don’t buy these.

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