Two Days

You can’t win a game unless you score.

You can’t score unless you make a play.

You can’t make a play unless you beat the defender.

You can’t beat the defender unless you block the defensive line.

You can’t block the defensive line unless you have the proper footwork. 

You can’t have the proper footwork unless you snap the ball. 

You can’t snap the ball unless you break the huddle. 

You can’t break the huddle unless you put on your pads. 

You can’t put on your pads unless you make a decision that you want to play. 

You have to want to play. 

You have to want to fight.

You have to do all that is asked of you. 

You have to know that every day will be a different day, both physically and emotionally.

You have to take things one step at a time. Nothing is guaranteed. In fact, things can change really fast.

You have to embrace emotions, the good and the bad. The bad thoughts are like weeds. 

Self-pity is relentless in its attempt to dishearten and discourage. You have to guard your heart against it.

The physical symptoms are the branches of the cancer tree, the emotions are the roots that dig in. 

You spend your time and efforts wrestling with the emotions.

In both situations, it’s the small things that puts you in the position to look back with amazement and say I’ve done it. I’ve overcome. 

In two days, I’ll learn where my Leukemia stands and what I’ll have to do to overcome it. I feel like I’m going from the armed reserve to the front lines. I know that things will be worse, they have to. However, if that means I can break away from this monster, then that is what brings me joy. I’m ready to move on. I’m ready to have a sense of freedom again. I want to do things I’ve never done, see things I’ve never seen, and experience things I’ve never experienced, simply because I suffer from an illness that has taken the ultimate priority in my life. I know a lot of people have it a lot harder than I do. I see that every time I go to a cancer center. And I know I’m one of the lucky ones, I’m truly thankful for that. It’s just that I’m ready to be a part of the solution and less a part of the problem. 

I’m just anxious to get started. I’ve been waiting for a month to really learn what’s going to happen and on Friday I’ll finally be able to bring some closure to all of the questions that I haven’t been able to answer on my own. I’ll do my part, and then we’ll see God’s will for my life played out. I’m quite simply more excited about that than I am anything else. I can’t wait to be used to encourage and exhort those weary from their own battles with cancer or anything else that has made life difficult.