The Bridge to Somewhere

I have an oncology appointment next Friday, August 27th at 8 a.m. This visit will be the one I’ve been waiting for.

We’ll finally get the results of the second mutation test and bone marrow biopsy. Most importantly, I’ll find out what is in store for me and my treatment. Having answers will be a relief.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about cancer. Being diagnosed with CML is so surreal.

In eighth grade, my english teacher spent half of the school year enduring chemotherapy treatment for his cancer. I felt sad for him. He was such a nice guy.

Even at a young age, I could see his pain. Without truly understanding what he felt or thought, I knew he was battling something far greater than he let on. He could have felt sorry for himself, but he didn’t. I admired that.

I’ve struggled with fatigue since being diagnosed with Leukemia. At one point, I lost the strength and stamina to do simple things like walk up the stairs in my townhouse apartment.

I attempted to regain stamina numerous times, but working out was frustrating. I didn’t have the patience to build endurance. I just wanted it to come easy like it always had.

I started slowly, focusing on the progress versus the outcome. The next day I would do the same. And so on.

I started feeling good again. Then my medication stopped working. I fell into a pit of sadness and didn’t feel like leaving my apartment anymore. Time stood still.

All that I’m experiencing now, every word of encouragement, conversation and prayer is a positive seed that will be harvested when treatment is over. If I have to endure this season of life, I want to be used in ways that encourage, support, and lift up other people going through similar experiences.

Here I am, on this bridge between what I do know (my diagnosis) and what I don’t (how I will be used in the future). My goal is to write about it. I hope you keep coming back…and that we can do this together.

Posted in: cml

2 thoughts on “The Bridge to Somewhere”

  1. Man, you encourage me! You've got an awesome heart. I'm sad we hardly know each other, but we are family, literally and in Christ. I'm proud of you for keeping your faith and bringing out Gods purpose in the tough times. It's those times of trials that reveal who we really are. I think of James 1 when I think of you. "Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance and perseverance must finish its work so you may be mature and complete not lacking anything." Mature and complete, awesome! Know that my husband and I are praying for you. Thanks for keeping everyone updated through this blog!

    Rachel Rodriguez

    1 Corinthians 16:13
    Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.

    Ephesians 6:10
    Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.

    1 Corinthians 1:8
    He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.

    2 Corinthians 12:10
    That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

    1 Peter 5:10
    And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

  2. Rachel, thank you so much for your encouragement and for your kind words. I'm equally saddened that I don't know some family as much as I would like. Your prayers and reminder of God's word means more to me than you know!

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