Mt. Everest

I was watching TV this afternoon and there was this commercial for a show that will be on the Discovery Times channel sometime this week or next about a bunch of people who attempted to climb Mt. Everest. I obviously don’t know if they made it or not because I haven’t seen the show. They showed scenes of a guy who was being medically treated on the mountain, and of gusts of snowy winds. I thought about it for a second, maybe half a second. Why in the HECK would you subject yourself to death to climb a mountain full of snow and ice when there’s nothing at the top but a peak and some clouds???

There are toes and fingers to lose, not to mention arms and legs. If I ever lose an extremity it better be in a heroic brawl with a lion or shark [and I better come out victorious]. If it’s freezing cold outside, I don’t want to climb anything unless it has some sort of prize at the top. I’m talking about a real prize, like a resort of some sort, with a warm freaking hot tub, a resort with a few million dollars waiting for me on my bedroom pillow. But for these guys, there’s NOTHING but bragging rights.

What do you do when you reach the top? Look around? It’s nothing you probably couldn’t see three fourths of the way up, or maybe even halfway. How long do you stay at the top? Long enough to get a picture? I doubt digital cameras work in extreme weather. I doubt you could hit the button with those big gloves.

If I was dumb enough to climb the mountain and I just so happened to die going up, I’d have my friends take me to the top and let me chill there so that it would freak every other person out who reaches it. I’d have them put a sign in my hands that said “Yeah, bad idea to climb a snowy mountain.” Hopefully, then people would want to go to the top, to see me. That would be the prize, to see the guy with the funny sign who didn’t make it up and down the cold mountain. I’d even grow a mustache so make it worthwhile. See you at the top.

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